10:40 PM | link
"Myrna, listen to me! You can not fly! Now take that thing off and come inside before the neighbors see you!"

10:03 PM | link
Funny, when we played doctor as children there was never a soundtrack.

1:01 AM | link
Larry was many things; an interior designer was not among them.

12:50 AM | link
Somewhere out there is a moose with one antler, and he ain't happy.

12:33 AM | link
Sister Mary really dug that crazy Jesus beat, Daddy!

12:24 AM | link
Go ahead, kid, just try and take the candy from my mouth.

12:04 AM | link
All the other cars steered clear of Todd.

12:28 PM | link
We wonder how many times they'll have to recount the bids to see who wins the auction.

11:37 PM | link
"Some walnuts are missing."

11:30 PM | link
"Can I keep him? Huh, Dad? Can I?"

"Now Jesus, you know what happened the last time you had a pet..."

11:17 PM | link
Oh, damn you James! Mummy's going to be furious when she finds out! She'll probably send us back to the orphanage.

8:57 PM | link
Mommy, can I pweaf haf some more absinthe?

(thanks, Susan!)

8:52 PM | link
It probably doesn't taste any worse than lutefisk.

(thanks, Lisa, Patricia and James!)

8:49 PM | link
These boots were made for walkin'... (where, we're not quite sure.)

(thanks, Rachel!)

8:46 PM | link
Why some people shouldn't have digital cameras. Or trash cans.

(thanks, Misty!)

8:41 PM | link
Roy sadly realized that this wasn't helping his drinking problem at all.

7:29 PM | link
"Anybody know what time it is?"

"Sure, let me just check my- kapingggg! Um, sorry about that."

6:39 PM | link
Nothing like bringing a touch of the great outdoors to your desk.

12:42 AM | link
"Contains chloroforming, catfights, strangulations, belly button worship, foot worshipping, tattoo worship, posing and more." Wow, now that's a convent!

12:40 AM | link
Harry the Hedgehog was very excited by the discovery he'd made in the Burkhardt's garage and rushed back to tell all the other hedgehogs. Alas, he never made it.

12:29 AM | link
"Think Xmas"? Think again, sister -- no self-respecting bird is going to set foot in there.

1:40 AM | link
For the third consecutive year, Rudy was voted Best Dressed Guard in Cellblock E.

1:20 AM | link
Throughout his youth, Edward dreamed of the day he'd become a dirty old man.

12:43 AM | link
There are some things you probably don't want to have embroidered across your chest...

12:28 AM | link
"This biker warrior head-hunter dude looks like he just surfed across the Pacific from Borneo, lookin for a Bud."

12:54 AM | link

Mary Lou always thought the claim that pets resembled their owners was just an old wives' tale.

12:47 AM | link
Good thing it's washable, otherwise all that drool might leave a nasty stain.

12:46 AM | link
That's nice, but we still don't want to go out with you.

12:20 AM | link
We thought they were kidding. Disburbingly enough, they're not.

(thanks, Jerred!)

7:39 PM | link
Oh, look! The toothbrushes come in all the colors of the rainbow!