12:41 PM | link
"Kitty doesn't see well in the dark, so we got her a lighted scratching post."

12:09 PM | link
Would look great displayed in a bar or rec room, right next to the neon Pabst sign.

12:04 PM | link
"Tea parties are for babies!" Sarah declared to her playmates. "Kelly, you hand out the glasses an' Caitlin, you start pouring the wine."

11:54 AM | link

The long, lonely winters in Indiana can make a man do strange things to his silverware.

11:26 AM | link
"Honey, what do you want to do tonight?" "Oh, I thought we'd take turns picking each others' ears."

6:52 PM | link
Don't you football fans just hate it when you're gathered 'round the tube to watch the big game on Sunday afternoon and your pals keep drinking out of each others' wine glasses by mistake?

2:10 PM | link
Oh yeah? Well she doesn't think you're so hot, either!

2:04 PM | link
Great for the next time you invite 900 people to brunch.

1:58 PM | link
See my other auctions for some socks that need mending and underwear with stretched-out elastic waistbands!

1:36 PM | link
"Case dismissed on the grounds that counsel has bad taste in clothing."

1:26 PM | link
Prozac pen w/ rope: If the pills don't work, you can always hang yourself.

1:21 PM | link
Imogene sighed and lit another cigarette, drawing the smoke deep down into her lungs. "I'll never get a man."

1:17 PM | link
Darlene was perhaps a little too eager to give out her address.

1:11 PM | link
The other squirrels stopped laughing at Steve when they realized he could gather twice as many nuts.

12:54 PM | link
Barbie loves animals. Especially swans.

12:10 PM | link
One inch square! Funny, they looked so much bigger onstage.

11:59 AM | link
So you're not looking for a lead singer who gobbles LSD, writes poetry about lizards, and gets arrested onstage right now? Well, here, take my card and give me a call if anything opens up, ok?

2:14 AM | link
Bitter about her recent divorce, Mrs. Smith decided to make sure all the girls in her home ec class knew what marriage is really all about.

1:53 AM | link
What, you mean mudpacks and Judy Garland CDs aren't mentioned?

1:47 AM | link
After years of being misunderstood, Trixie decided it was finally time to write her memoirs.

1:36 AM | link
We can't think of anything more in need of revival than good old fashioned facism.

1:33 AM | link
Hi ho, hi ho, it's to the bank we go ...

2:05 PM | link
File under "Good luck selling this".

(thanks, Gary!)

1:45 PM | link
Don't spend a lot of money on Christmas presents! Homemade gifts are unique and tell your friends just how much you care about them.

1:59 AM | link
Now you can have hair just like JC, Justin, Joey, Chris and Lance!