We thought you'd never ask. Find out what this is, who's behind it, and who's talking about it.


We love hearing about weird eBay auctions, so if you find any please tell us! Closed auctions are fine, and so are items from other auction websites.

We accept lots of different things, but please don't submit:
- anything with the words "fart" or "gag" in the title
- kangaroo scrotum purses
- joke auctions that have already been listed many times (ad space on body parts, 'haunted' dolls, clothes and paintings, Virgin Mary images on food, etc.)

Also, please don't send attachments or HTML, just URLs of funny eBay auctions, and tell us why you think the items are worthy.

So. Found an amusing, unusual or downright bizarre auction on eBay? Send it in!


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Saturday, December 30, 2000

9:11 PM | link
Sometimes happy,
Sometimes sad.
Pretty tacky,
Always bad.

3:50 PM | link
"Oh baby, your love is so sweet it just blows my mind."

3:48 PM | link
Who needs the Miss America Pageant when you can have this instead?

3:33 PM | link
Looks like Santa's got a little Quality Assurance problem on his hands.

3:23 PM | link
"Uh, Mr. President, it's right there beneath your neck, sir."

2:57 PM | link
Now that's a cool party trick.

2:51 PM | link
With this gift, you can show those bratty neighborhood kids that you're willing to let bygones be bygones.

12:31 AM | link
Tune in again next week, when I'll be auctioning off jpegs of my summer vacation.

12:14 AM | link
Holy stash boxes, Batman!

Friday, December 29, 2000

11:45 PM | link
Because there are so many chartered accounts who love prog rock.

11:35 PM | link
There's rustic, and then there's rustic.

11:18 PM | link
We feel much better abour ourselves whenever we wear positive-affirmation underpants.

11:05 PM | link
Confidential to seller: If these really are the "cutest things you've ever seen" then may we suggest you leave the house a little more often?

10:59 PM | link
Say you're attacked by a band of thieving hooligans. Which would you rather whip out of your pocket: pepper spray or real protection?

10:31 PM | link
Stop wasting your money on overpriced recreational hallucinogens!

10:23 PM | link
Especially when they're snuggled up beneath some guy's beer belly.

10:13 PM | link
After which you can sue yourself for malpractice.

9:57 PM | link
Every morning we wake up and thank god for our ability to accessorize.

9:44 PM | link
We don't know what's better: the cheery background and animated rainbow graphics, or the fact that somebody decided to list a complete funeral and burial package in the "Occasion:Retirement" category.

(The Colossus of Rhodes graphic, otoh, has got to go.)

12:15 AM | link
Rub-a-dub-dub, three perfectly straight men in a tub.

Thursday, December 28, 2000

11:42 PM | link
If you've ever wondered what it would be like to feel up a mouse, now's your chance.

11:22 PM | link
"Glamour Don't" doesn't even begin to describe it.

10:46 PM | link
Still cringing with embarrassment over the whole Earring Magic Ken episode, Mattel was justifiably nervous when it unveiled the new Caeserian Barbie.

10:24 PM | link
Dept. of Adult Education: We want to take whichever class uses this instructional book on women and the use of crack-cocaine.

9:33 PM | link
It's better to sell than to receive.

2:10 AM | link
This ought 'ta rattle the blokes down at the pub.

2:09 AM | link
In case your minivan isn't pimpin' enough.

1:55 AM | link
No one could figure out why the children were always so hungry after drinking Aunt Dottie's tea.

1:52 AM | link
"This the perfect two-person operation, great for a husband-and-wife team." Just don't tell them what happened to the last husband-and-wife team.

1:52 AM | link
What to put on the cake the next time you throw a baby shower for an unwed mother.

1:48 AM | link
There's a reason why they call Disneyland the happiest place on earth.

1:43 AM | link
Impress your friends with your very own Bride-On-A-Stick!

1:34 AM | link
We don't care how you dress it up (or how you dress up in it), trash is trash.

1:26 AM | link
It's nice to see that the Unibomber has found a hobby.

1:14 AM | link
Encouraged by the popularity of Special Olympics, a group of professional golfers have announced plans to sponsor the first annual U.S. Hydrocephalus Open.

(Here, we'll save you the trouble of looking it up.)

1:10 AM | link
The express route to making sure your kid will need intense therapy someday.

1:07 AM | link
Nothing says "I love you" like a toiletbowl of flowers.

12:56 AM | link
No matter how hard he tried, little Timmy couldn't bring himself to play with the headless robot Aunt Dorothy gave him for Christmas.

12:43 AM | link
Everybody loves a clown. Until it tries to kill you in your sleep.

12:38 AM | link
Try as they may, the burn unit could never make Grandma look quite the way she did before.

(thanks Melanie!)

12:32 AM | link
Remember kids: Only you can prevent bad art.

12:29 AM | link
Steve's last words were reported to be: "Look! I made it myself!"

12:24 AM | link
How to decorate like a frat boy.

12:17 AM | link
Looks like the Olympics Committee has selected a mascot for the 2002 Salt Lake City games.

12:06 AM | link
Mmmm, goalie-flavored Jell-O.

Wednesday, December 27, 2000

11:57 PM | link
"Honey, it's those damn astronauts again. They want to know what you're drinking."

11:33 PM | link
Oh yeah, like we're going to put our mouths on that...

11:30 PM | link
Why hire an expensive therapist when you can work through your anger on Ebay?

11:15 PM | link
Not recommended for compulsive pen-clickers.

1:18 AM | link
The man who wrapped America's collective ass in purple spandex has found himself an equally tasteful new career.

1:06 AM | link
Um, pardon us for asking, but isn't placing a tow truck right above your crotch going to send out the wrong message?

12:55 AM | link
Despite the eye-catching covers and hard-hitting journalism, Bus Ride magazine was ultimately doomed to fail.

12:49 AM | link
Also makes a fine candle.

12:36 AM | link
Actually, this would be sort of cool to own, though we have no idea where we'd put it.

12:25 AM | link
"There's something challenging about a small block of clean wood that makes the fingers itch to start whittling away at it."

Tuesday, December 26, 2000

11:32 PM | link
Throw out those wimpy air fresheners -- it's time to upgrade.

9:33 AM | link
Yes, but is it unrequited love?

Sunday, December 24, 2000

11:54 PM | link
What better way to celebrate the season than by putting out your cigarette in Santa's beard?

11:44 PM | link

10:48 PM | link
Share the holiday spirit with everyone around you by wearing this musical scarf that plays Christmas carols.

10:40 PM | link
It wouldn't be Christmas without reindeer porn.

10:29 PM | link
Boy, is Rudolph going to be snippy when he finds out about this.

10:24 PM | link
Um, ok, maybe we should lay off the eggnog for awhile...

10:22 PM | link
Tragedy struck early this morning when an unidentified severed head and eight unidentified severed reindeer heads were found in a dumpster downtown.

10:12 PM | link
"Ahh, screw the little buggers! Let them get their own toys this year -- I've got more important things to do."

10:06 PM | link
Starring George Michael as Santa Claus.

Another waste of perfectly good brain cells from Drue and Shauna.
© 2000-2005 Drue Miller and Shauna Wright. All rights reserved.